Fill Each Other’s Plate

Hello and Happy Friday!

Today I want to wrap up my thoughts on marriage with a topic that is very important to me and that’s having a serving heart towards your significant other.

I’ve said before marriage can be hard. One of the hardest things to do is go from a mindset that kind of revolves around just you and having to expand those thoughts into a mindset that is considerate of now you and your partner. It can be a struggle and it’s something that you definitely have to actively work towards. These practices can be simple, but I’ve made observations based on some reactions from other women when those moments come up and honestly I’m shocked at how many women (and men) don’t have serving hearts towards their significant others.

On Tuesday I mentioned that Chris and I just went through a tough time in our marriage. Months of him being out to sea and back home; throwing us both off. So after we had a heart to heart talk, that Sunday we went to church. We knew we needed God. I kid you not, the service we went to was talking about having a Gospel Centered Marriage. WOW. I call it a “Jesus Moment”. The Lord knew Chris and I needed to hear this. One thing our preacher spoke on was having a MUTUAL submission. This means that it takes the man AND woman to really make this work. Both of you have to be on the same page and be living out how God wants you to in your marriage or relationship. The scripture he referred to was Ephesians 5:15-30 if you want to read it.

Okay, so now that we know that submitting to our husbands (as they should submit to you) is what God is calling you to do, how can we implement this in our daily activities? It’s really not hard. Do for each other. For example, one thing that Chris and I do for each other is making each other’s plates for dinner. I remember when we were hanging out with friends and family one time a friend of mine saw me making his plate and they were literally shocked. They literally said, “He can make his own damn plate”. Well yes, he is more than capable, but I like serving my husband. I like doing things for him, simple things. It’s an easy way to show him I love him. When I walked in the garage to give him his plate the men were in just as much shock. “My wife would never make my plate” or “Look at Sav being a good wife”. The simple jester really does go a long way. He also will make my plate for me. It makes me feel great when my husband walks up to me with a plate of food because he loves me. It’s not a have dinner on the table by 5 and serve your husband mindset. It’s a “show acts of kindness and love because that’s what God intended for your relationship” mindset.

I always write my post before coming up with a title because I like the title to be cute and catchy. I decided on “Fill Each Other’s Plate”, Then I got to thinking. Can’t we take this literally and figuratively when talking about having a serving heart? Rather not necessarily filling each other’s plate with food, but fill your husband’s plate with love, kindness, laughter, acts of service, uplifting words, etc. Say “I love you” more at random times, shoot them a nice text in the middle of the day, let them know they are appreciated. I love sending Chris random text that simply say, “Hey, just thinking about ya! I love you and appreciate you! Can’t wait to spend some time with you this weekend!” It’s really not hard.

Ladies, I challenge you to change your actions & mindset. If you have the “He can make his own damn plate” mindset you may want to dig deep and fix that. Do you expect him to fill his own plate in the figurative sense? Would you like for him to fill your plate? I recognize this works both ways. Imagine how you would feel if your husband had the mindset of filling your plate literally and figuratively as well. How much better would your marriage or relationship be? How much healthier, effective, positive would it get? Don’t wait for your husband to take the initiative. Let’s be real, probably not gonna happen. You can take the initiative. Mention this to him. Tell him you want to fill his plate, literally and figuratively. You don’t have to do it in silence. Remember they aren’t mind readers and they’re too simple to think this much into it. If they do they’re a KEEPER! See how he responds, pray he follows. Remember MUTUAL submission.

-Savy J