Honestly, I just feel like writing today. Life has been so crazy, maybe you can relate. I mean yeah, its the holiday season in the midst of COVID so I’m pretty sure everyone is losing their marbles. (Please assure me its not just me).
I just wanted to hop on and talk about life for a sec. I have been on this sort of self-finding journey. I’m in this season of motherhood. You guys, it’s HARD. I have never given SO much of myself before. Ive mentioned that it has been such a struggle for me to find life outside of my kids. Recently I’ve come to this grand realization that I just have to do the best I can do. Seems pretty obvious but its stressful. I have been working on spending more time with God in bible study, trying to eat better, workout, go to work, keep up with my appearance. On top of the general household bs (laundry, dishes). I have goals, ok. Like do our kids just not get that we actual humans with goals outside of making play dates and feeding them all organic foods lol?! I would like to learn scripture, maybe read a book, grow my vocabulary- literally I can’t even remember to say “Hey, Siri. What’s the word of the day” on the Webster app. It takes 3 seconds. Why can’t I accomplish this?! So I’ve been praying because I want to have my ish together, Lord.
I’m a problem solver. I can’t just leave the problem alone and accept this is just how it is because I do think its still important to strive to be the best version of yourself… as much as you can. So I do what I can and I refuse to feel guilty when I can’t. I don’t set a goal to workout every day because its just not going to happen. My kids are up my ass, okay. Like super far up there. So I have concluded that the solution is to set general goals. For example, I say I’m gonna try to work out 3 days for 30 minutes. I don’t pre-determine what 3 days because who knows what days my kids will actually nap or behave for 30 minutes straight? So I do what I can when I can. No, I don’t accept the “Well I deserve to watch my show if I have 30 free minutes”. It’s not that I don’t deserve to watch my show because trust me, I do, and so do you. BUT I also have these goals. I have to get my ass up and do them. Because if my ass meets to couch I’m not gonna get up.
So Mamas, I hope I have related to you in this rambling. It’s all very lighthearted. I hope I have maybe encouraged you or made you feel like you aren’t alone.